I'm really into asian looking animals
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
