So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize
