We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You ate ashes out of my bong
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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