My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
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