I smell stomach acid.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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