im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
i've created a new STD.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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