I murdered the dance floor call the cops
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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