I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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