So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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