god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize
