Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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