No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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