Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
