kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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