Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
