How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
