with your own penis?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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