dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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