just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize