When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
