I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
