shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
