I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
