just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
