If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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