I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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