Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
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I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize