gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
