Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
