I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
