i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize