My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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