i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize