Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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