I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
