Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
The maid of honor just puked.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I pour the whiskey from now on
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
