tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
