Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize