New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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