Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
