You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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