Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
