He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
