I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i love accidental penises.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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