Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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