you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
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I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
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I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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