So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
