I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
