I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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