i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
