just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
