The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
