Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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