i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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