Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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