So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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