whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
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Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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