her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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