you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
