Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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