Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
