he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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