I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
