so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.