Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed

(787): View more from Puerto Rico

you smoke with your eyes?

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(203): i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed (787): you smoke with your eyes? http://tfl.nu/xom7

Replies (8) Good night (2328) Bad night (1047)
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(318): View more from Louisiana

I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me

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(318): I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me http://tfl.nu/y794

Replies (39) Good night (783) Bad night (4506)
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(703): View more from Virginia

i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.

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(703): i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room. http://tfl.nu/rb5o

Replies (24) Good night (1003) Bad night (6215)
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(316): View more from Kansas

My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.

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(316): My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch. http://tfl.nu/qemq

Replies (15) Good night (1183) Bad night (4226)
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(703): View more from Virginia

She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.

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(703): She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself. http://tfl.nu/tn32

Replies (17) Good night (4160) Bad night (1949)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.

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(508): Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now. http://tfl.nu/sqxt

Replies (4) Good night (2245) Bad night (1310)
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(719): View more from Colorado

On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.

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(719): On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour. http://tfl.nu/o2dj

Replies (6) Good night (3170) Bad night (646)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.

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(+44): I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy. http://tfl.nu/np1e

Replies (3) Good night (3600) Bad night (610)
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick

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(774): Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick http://tfl.nu/t99o

Replies (6) Good night (2257) Bad night (749)
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(916): View more from California

Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home

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(916): Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home http://tfl.nu/dlwc

Replies (3) Good night (612) Bad night (1617)
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(971): View more from Oregon

I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.

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(971): I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up. http://tfl.nu/s3lx

Replies (4) Good night (1343) Bad night (401)
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(318): View more from Louisiana

My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter

(504): View more from Louisiana

Is this a considering it or regretting it text?

(318): View more from Louisiana

I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.

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(318): My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter (504): Is this a considering it or regretting it text? (318): I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me. http://tfl.nu/wpzn

Replies (3) Good night (360) Bad night (845)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.

(201): View more from New Jersey

I'm trying to hide in the table.

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(973): You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man. (201): I'm trying to hide in the table. http://tfl.nu/7531

Replies (1) Good night (388) Bad night (274)
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(408): View more from California

this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it

(408): View more from California

its winning. its definitely happening

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(408): this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it (408): its winning. its definitely happening http://tfl.nu/yixq

Replies (1) Good night (450) Bad night (243)
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(714): View more from California

The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.

(310): View more from California

Best. Text. Ever.

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(714): The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it. (310): Best. Text. Ever. http://tfl.nu/bz8y

Replies (2) Good night (596) Bad night (224)

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