Texts From Last Night

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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count

  (1-609): View more from New Jersey

  You don't understand. I'm not like you.

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  (609): Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count (1-609): You don't understand. I'm not like you. http://tfl.nu/ja4i
  Replies (25) Good night (2441) Bad night (649)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  shes about as inviting as chlamydia

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  (778): shes about as inviting as chlamydia http://tfl.nu/iikb
  Replies (2) Good night (621) Bad night (3260)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.

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  (813): Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed. http://tfl.nu/pp8v
  Replies (44) Good night (1015) Bad night (5289)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.

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  (937): i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester. http://tfl.nu/q7xe
  Replies (31) Good night (5846) Bad night (2103)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Its weird to pet your cat with a boner

  (1-406): View more from Montana

  What the fuck?

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  (406): Its weird to pet your cat with a boner (1-406): What the fuck? http://tfl.nu/9pm4
  Replies (48) Good night (2047) Bad night (8720)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.

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  (570): since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there. http://tfl.nu/6g57
  Replies (4) Good night (2710) Bad night (779)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.

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  (360): I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised. http://tfl.nu/zjt1
  Replies (6) Good night (2331) Bad night (898)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.

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  (704): I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks. http://tfl.nu/gvia
  Replies (3) Good night (671) Bad night (1320)
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  (518): View more from New York

  He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.

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  (518): He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on. http://tfl.nu/jgdt
  Replies (6) Good night (3129) Bad night (587)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.

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  (970): there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night. http://tfl.nu/aogr
  Replies (9) Good night (1484) Bad night (566)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."

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  (630): That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits." http://tfl.nu/sgvn
  Replies (5) Good night (991) Bad night (482)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.

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  (425): The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned. http://tfl.nu/65g6
  Replies (2) Good night (740) Bad night (389)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.

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  (647): I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks. http://tfl.nu/gjaq
  Replies (4) Good night (1048) Bad night (381)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'

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  (425): we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul' http://tfl.nu/04nj
  Replies (3) Good night (1019) Bad night (405)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.

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  (651): Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up. http://tfl.nu/p8h2
  Replies (1) Good night (550) Bad night (224)

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