i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.