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• (734): View more from Michigan

  Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Have a good day. My vagina shrank.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.

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• (433): View more from

  There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  $5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer

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• (778): View more from British Columbia

  She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (574): View more from Indiana

  I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual

  (1-574): View more from Indiana

  You're the salmon of the gays...

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.

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• (760): View more from California

  I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.

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