Texts From Last Night

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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up

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  (330): Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up http://tfl.nu/ip0y
  Replies (13) Good night (697) Bad night (3055)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.

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  (541): I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him. http://tfl.nu/i7hv
  Replies (32) Good night (1004) Bad night (5035)
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  (716): View more from New York

  My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics

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  (716): My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics http://tfl.nu/wc24
  Replies (50) Good night (5318) Bad night (1084)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.

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  (817): No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever. http://tfl.nu/v4fg
  Replies (13) Good night (5597) Bad night (1141)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.

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  (404): i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice. http://tfl.nu/2mv5
  Replies (11) Good night (983) Bad night (3375)
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  (510): View more from California

  Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?

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  (510): Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night? http://tfl.nu/abjo
  Replies (6) Good night (3417) Bad night (930)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters

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  (206): she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters http://tfl.nu/lstj
  Replies (4) Good night (2782) Bad night (890)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day

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  (512): Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day http://tfl.nu/zcoa
  Replies (6) Good night (2123) Bad night (1412)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him

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  (519): he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him http://tfl.nu/dkoo
  Replies (3) Good night (1224) Bad night (631)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"

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  (502): I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink" http://tfl.nu/1myn
  Replies (5) Good night (2250) Bad night (581)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.

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  (727): It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside. http://tfl.nu/ic5n
  Replies (5) Good night (597) Bad night (327)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.

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  (410): Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience. http://tfl.nu/sg6n
  Replies (3) Good night (939) Bad night (295)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.

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  (304): Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid. http://tfl.nu/agyj
  Replies (2) Good night (264) Bad night (392)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after

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  (602): I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after http://tfl.nu/x9h9
  Replies (0) Good night (442) Bad night (291)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.

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  (865): Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline. http://tfl.nu/4en0
  Replies (2) Good night (465) Bad night (137)

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