Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(509): View more from Washington

I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?

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(907): View more from Alaska

started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.

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(858): View more from California

Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"

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(360): View more from Washington

Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(480): View more from Arizona

I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours

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(727): View more from Florida

Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?

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(906): View more from Michigan

You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"

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(847): View more from Illinois

Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.

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(555): View more from

Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.

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