is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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